


sidereal - phan

by coffeeandcatwhiskers



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gay, M/M, Outer Space, Phan - Freeform, Phan AU, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2019-07-02 12:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15796428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandcatwhiskers/pseuds/coffeeandcatwhiskers
Summary: in which dan is a being from the stars and phil is a clueless barista with a tendency to fall in love recklessly. (lowercase intended)sidereal (adj.)of or with respect to the distant stars; astral.





	1. you're an angel fallen down

i’m standing on the sidewalk in complete darkness. it’s cold. i can’t remember what month or what week or what day it is. i just know i’m not home and i’m not sure how i’d get back there. i run a hand through my hair in a dazed attempt to straighten out my brain. i don’t know how or when i got here, but i’m sure i’ll be able to find someone to help me.

there’s a little box on the side of the road that’s illuminated from the inside. there’s seating, so i figure i’ll set up camp there for tonight. whether i sleep or not, i still need to rest my legs. maybe i’ve been walking for five hours. five minutes. i just feel like five is in there somewhere. i see some sort of structure with a bright, glowy light that says “café! open 24/7” and i decide that i should stop in. after all, it’s frigid out here and i’m guessing that a coffee shop would be a grand improvement.

i walk in, admiring the menu written entirely on the large chalkboard above the front counter. all four of the baristas are glaring at me as if something is off. one of them approaches once i rest my hand on the counter.

“hello and welcome! my name’s philip. what can i get for you?”  
“uh, hello. can i get a large hot cocoa with...whipped cream?” the raven haired boy nods, typing in the order.  
“that’ll be two dollars and fifty-seven cents.” i reach in my pocket and pull out the little folded piece of leather i found on the sidewalk while i was strolling earlier. “uh, okay.” he pulls a couple of green pieces of paper and shakes it around until a few shiny circles fall out of the centre. i laugh awkwardly, not sure what any of it is used for. the books never taught us this.  
“you don’t have much experience with human interaction, do you?” he gives me a crooked grin and grabs the whipped cream from the small refrigerator under the counter.  
“what?”  
“okay, i’ll take that as a no. it’s okay, i don’t either.” he grabs a lid, finishing the hot cocoa and handing it to me. “my shift is over in five minutes. i could make myself a cocoa and we could talk, if you’d like, but if not, that’s also cool.”  
“that’d be nice. i don’t talk much, sorry.” he gives that same crooked smile as before so that i can tell he understands. he hops back behind the counter, preparing his own drink. i decide to seat myself in the corner of the café, sinking myself into the sofa. philip follows my actions, sitting a couple spaces away from me. he still gives me the glare of the other baristas, only with a little bit more comfort this time. the others still look anxious.  
“so, what brings you around here? most people come to london in search of rain and british accents. that, or they’re unoriginal tourists who can’t think of better places to be. which is it for you?”  
“i woke up here.”  
“you...what?”  
“i woke up here. i opened my eyes and what was surrounding me was entirely different from what i fell asleep surrounded by.”  
“were you kidnapped?”  
“was i what?”  
“never mind. where were you before?”  
“all i know is that the stars were closer.”  
“so did you live in like, a mountain town?”  
“i guess you could say that.” in all honesty, i’ve never seen anything like this place before. i don’t think i’m on the same planet i was born on. they’re looking at me like i’m a complete idiot. “why are your friends looking at me like that?”  
“they’re not really my friends. they’re just coworkers. and haven’t you seen yourself compared to us?”  
“what do you mean?”  
“it looks like you’ve just got stars floating around your head. is that a headpiece?”  
“haha, what?” i nervously reach around my head. it feels warm in the air. oh dear, he’s right, isn’t he?  
“here, have a look.” he hands me a shiny rectangle and i can see myself in it. there’s little astral specks floating around my head and i can swear he’s giggling at me.  
“is that...not normal?”  
“i don’t have ‘em. nobody i’ve ever known before has literal stars floating around their cranium.”  
“oh. i guess i’m special.” he snorts and nearly drops his cocoa.  
“i guess you are.” we both sip on our drinks until our cups are empty. he takes the empty mugs back to the kitchen and cleans them up. “so, i noticed that you walked here. do you have a ride? it’s getting pretty late.”  
“a ride?”  
“yeah, a ride. do you have someone to drive you home?”  
“i don’t have a home.”  
“do you need a place to rest? you look tired.”  
“that would be nice, i suppose.” he smiles, gesturing for me to stand up and follow him. we get out to the street and he opens the door of a small black car, telling me i can sit down. he shuts the door and gets in on the other side.  
“i’m sorry, but i never got your name.” i glance over at him before he starts the car. i could tell him that i don’t have a name-that people from my home aren’t known by names.  
“daniel...james...howell?”  
“that’s a pleasant name. i’ll call you dan if that’s fine.”  
“that would be lovely, philip.” and then we take off.


	2. i think the universe is on my side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to upload a second chapter, and also that this chapter is so short. i've had terrible writer's block and school has me stressed to a new extent. anyway, enjoy this! i think it'll be a filler chapter.

his apartment-which he lovingly refers to as his flat-is warm. there’s a few plants lining the windows and photos of him and what i can assume is his family are hung on the walls. it’s a lovely place, really. if nothing else, it’s better than dimly lit boxes on the side of the street and alleyways. philip offers me a few blankets before telling me i can lie down on the couch or in his bed. 

“i’m a bit of a kicker, but i’ve always preferred the couch to the bed, so…” he trails off, seemingly wanting me to lie with him. i shrug, pick up the three fluffy sheets he’s handed me, and follow him.  
“it’s been quite a while since i’ve lied in a bed.” he tilts his head a little bit, appearing as if he’s going to ask me a question. instead, he opens his door and walks in, grabbing a couple of pillows and tossing them on the floor along with the green and blue comforter on top.   
“i’ll sleep down here if you want the bed.” i shrug, figuring that a place to sleep, whether it’s the floor or the bed or back out on the couch is better than a bench. i climb onto his bed, covering up with the three blankets i’ve carried in with me.   
“so, dan, where are you from?” my breathing hitches and i’m not sure what to respond with. i can’t tell him i’m not from earth, but i can’t be dishonest. i just spit out the first thing that comes to my mind.  
“somewhere in the mountains. i’m not sure my town had a name.” he sits quietly for a while before speaking again.  
“do you have any family around here?”   
“i haven’t seen my family in a while. i’m not sure where they’d be.”  
“oh.” now the air is filled with tension and i can tell i’ve just made the situation awkward. “any friends?”  
“nope. i can’t think of any.”  
“wow. it sounds...lonely.”  
“well, i’ve gotten used to it, so…” i trail off and we both sit there for a few seconds.   
“y’know, i’d like you to be my friend.”   
“you what?”  
“i’d enjoy it if you would be my friend.”  
“okay. i would like that as well.” he grins before turning over and leaning his head on one of the pillows he’s sat on the floor. “it doesn’t seem comfy down there.”  
“oh well. i like the floor,” he tells me in a voice that really portrays that he, in fact, does not like the floor.  
“you can lie down up here if you’d like. i wouldn’t mind.”   
“really?”  
“philip, your bed is ginormous. please, make yourself comfortable.” he grabs his comforter and pillows, making the bed and jumping in. we both sit and talk for a few more moments until eventually, we fall asleep. the last thing i can feel is an ache in my heart when he wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer, like a stuffed animal or a giant pillow. i’ve never had anyone pull me in like that. i’ve never really been close to anyone, i guess. it feels nice.

in the morning, he wakes me up, informing me that breakfast is ready downstairs whenever i’m hungry. i don’t usually get hungry, but i could seriously use some food right now. 

he tilts his head, seeming confused.   
“your stars are brighter, dan.” i take a second to look in the hallway mirror after he makes this remark and indeed, the stars surrounding my head are more illuminated than they usually are.   
“that’s odd. i wonder why they’re like that.”  
“not sure. maybe it’s like one of those mood rings or something, so it changes with your feelings?”  
“it could be.” i slept well and there’s this rare energy in my heart that i’m not quite familiar with, so maybe those stars just shine brighter when i feel better. who knows?  
“anyway, i have to work again tonight. if you want to come along, you can. we’ve been short staffed lately and any help we can get is nice.”  
“i might tag along. i think your coworkers are scared of me, though.”   
“they’re not scared, they’re just confused. that’s all.” he gives me a genuine smile, so i decide to take his word for it. i seriously don’t know how those people can stand him. they all seem so grouchy, like they don’t enjoy anything. phil seems like he tries to enjoy everything.   
i've never known what enjoyment is, but i think i’m starting to understand it.


	3. black holes and revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yEET sorry it's been so long since i updated this   
> school and band have been consuming my life  
> hopefully i'll be on a decent uploading schedule soon but  
> if dan and phil can promise that and not do it, i will too  
> anyway, enjoy this!

we’re in his car and he’s driving to work. occasionally, a song will come on and he’ll turn the dial on the little box in the center of the dashboard. “this one’s called starlight.” it starts with a guy singing in a low voice that quickly goes higher and a piano tune. i tap my foot and he grins. “a muse fan, huh?” 

“a what?”

“this band is called muse. do you enjoy them?” i nod. he smiles and turns it up a little more. the drive ends shortly after this song and he opens the car door for me. the familiar café is warm compared to the chilly world outside and it reminds me of his house. 

“phil! how’s it going?” a lady from behind the counter calls to him as soon as we walk through the door. she has a bright pink streak in her otherwise blonde hair. “is that your friend that was in here last night?”

“yes, his name’s dan.” she glances at the air above me and for a second i begin to question her sanity. phil reminds me of the stars and then i proceed to sigh. maybe i’m the insane one. 

“well, dan, i’m louise,” she sticks her hand out as to shake mine. “you’re more than welcome to sit and relax. we’ll have a rush of people around seven. otherwise, it gets pretty boring. you’re also welcome to help.” 

“that sounds lovely.” she smiles and tells phil to inform me on what exactly it is that i will have to do in the case that they need assistance. he shows me how to use certain machines, how to dispense different toppings, and even how to greet customers. 

“so, how’s the weather out there, phil?” he groans.  

“it’s freezing. i don’t even want to be out of the house.”

“haha, i figured. it was sunny for a few minutes earlier and i could’ve sworn it felt warm.”

“lots of things can look warm and still be cold.”

“like microwaved macaroni and cheese.”

“yeah, i guess.” he smiles and louise leaves to take someone’s order. 

“she seems really polite.”

“she is, but she can be oblivious.”

“how so?”

“we’ll discuss that later.” i shrug, figuring that he knows what he’s doing. “care for a cocoa, daniel?” 

“that sounds lovely.”

“great! now that you can make it on your own, i don’t have to.” he giggles playfully and hands me a mug. 

“i was hoping you’d make it, phil.” he shakes his head. 

“you’re a working man now. it’s your job.” i let out a small huff before getting out what i need. after a few minutes of fumbling with the machines, i manage to make a decent cocoa. 

 

“get used to it, howell. nobody’s going to make you cocoa in this world. you’ve got to make it for yourself.”

“louise, that was unnecessarily deep and also kind of stupid.” phil and louise start throwing banter back and forth and i can’t help but laugh. they sound childish, which seems unlike phil. then again, i’ve only known him for 16 hours. 

 

i guess i’m getting to know him better.

  
  



	4. you bought a star in the sky tonight

phil’s shift is over and the two of us leave after cleaning up. louise bids us farewell and shakes my hand, telling me “it’s been a pleasure meeting you, dan.” phil and i get into his car and i sink into the seat. 

“work isn’t fun, i know. we get to go home now, though!” he starts the car and turns the music down a little, realizing he may have set the volume a bit too loud when he was driving earlier. 

“home sounds nice.” he looks over at me before pulling out of his parking spot and it seems as if he’s got something on his mind, but he stays quiet. i take note of certain structures and their lighting as we pass by, trying to remember if i’ve ever seen them before.

“do you ever think of going back home?”

“i don’t know how i’d get back there. plus, i guess i’ve never been fond of where i’m from. there’s no people that care to know my name or who i am or what i’ve done. this plan-this  _ place _ is nice in that way.” i begin to overanalyze the fact that i almost just stated that i’m not even from earth. god, what if he catches on?

“hmm.” he ponders for a second, turning down a street that i vaguely recognize. “we’re home now, daniel.” he nudges me with his elbow and i unbuckle the seatbelt, opening the door and stepping out. i’m not used to being awake this late, but i can see the stars in the sky and i’m reminded of home and i can’t tell whether that’s good or bad. phil seems as if he likes thinking his home is my home, too. it’s a sense of welcoming that i’m still having trouble getting used to. 

i trail behind him, tired and wanting to just lie back down next to him. the warmth is also pleasant but i’m confused by it. stars are too hot to touch and everything else is frigid and he’s the perfect balance between the two. he’s chill and he’s warm and i’m unusually comfortable when i’m around him, although i’ve only known him for a couple of days now. 

“do you want to sleep in my bed again tonight?”

“that’d be nice, i think.” he smiles and goes to take a shower, coming back in soft pants and a long sleeved shirt. “do you want to shower, too?”

“i don’t have a change of clothes.”

“you can borrow some of my pyjamas.”

“your… what?”

“pyjamas. what i’ve got on. sleepclothes.” 

“oh. i would like that.” 

 

so the black haired boy hands me a stack of clothing, teaches me how to operate the shower, and leaves me with a cloth and a bigger, more operational cloth. i wash up, drying myself off and putting on the pyjamas. they’re soft and cozy and i can see why he likes them.

 

i walk back to his room where he’s scrolling on a cellphone. he sits it on the stand next to his bed and i sit on the side opposite from him. 

 

“how do you feel about work?”

“louise is nice. money is weird.”

“yeah? most people say the opposite.”

“oh well. i got to spend time with you and meet new people. it was nice.”

“that’s good to hear.” he smiles and slumps down under his blankets. “well, i’m going to sleep.”

“i’ll join you.” i lie down next to him and within five minutes, his arm wraps around me.

  
_pleasant._


	5. did you fall for a shooting star?

it’s morning again and just like before, phil’s already out of bed and making breakfast. he’s good at it, although he tries to dismiss his ability to cook rather often. still in his pyjamas, i hazily make my way downstairs and greet him with a quiet “hello.”

“did you sleep well?”  
“yeah. i was warm. i dreamt about home.”  
“home?”  
“yeah. i saw the stars and the moons and-”  
“moons?”  
“yeah.”   
“earth only has one moon. are you okay? did you sleep too well?”  
“right, right. i’m still tired.” he nods, handing me a plate with a couple of pancakes on it.   
“eat up, we’re heading out today.”  
“no work?”  
“no work!” he seems genuinely excited and that makes me happy. 

ten minutes later, we’re still marching around the flat yelling “no work!” 

i’ve managed to eat my pancakes, though.

“so, i’m thinking we go shopping, specifically for clothing so you don’t have to wear my stuff. then we can go for lunch. then i have to get decorations for christmas.”  
“christmas?”  
“oh come on. you don’t know what christmas is?”  
“i mean, i’ve never celebrated it, so...”  
“well, you know it’s a holiday at least. it’s one of the most magical times of the year. there’s snow and gifts and hot cocoa and love and happiness.”  
“i’ve had hot cocoa.” he laughs a little and the air between us gets quiet.  
“well, i can guarantee you’d love it.”  
“i’m sure i would.” it gets quiet once more, and phil seems like he’s about to say something. he seems like this a lot, i’ve come to find. i decide to brush it off, considering he’s already changed the subject.

he hands me a blue sweater and a pair of black jeans (i end up having to roll up the ends - his legs are a little longer than mine) along with some fluffy socks.   
“i like these socks, phil. they’re very warm.”  
“you’ll need them. it’s supposed to be frigid out today.”  
“frigid.” it’s a pleasant word but it sounds harsh and it makes me unsure.  
“yeah. torrid is the opposite, just for reference. there’s also arid.” he starts rambling on about words and their synonyms and antonyms and things they remind him of. it’s cute, to say the least.

perhaps the starchild is gaining more appreciation for the earthling, huh?


	6. in any universe, you are my dark star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi, y'all!! i won't be updating a lot until around january 7th. i'm on winter vacation and i'd prefer not to be bothered with extra stress. 
> 
> much love!

we’re walking to a train station. phil says he prefers to take the tube when he goes shopping that way he doesn’t have to worry about where he parked. he was correct when he said it was frigid outside - i can hardly feel my hands and both of our noses are bright red. 

“m’hands are warm, dan. you can hold one if you’d like.” i oblige, taking his left hand in my right. he’s got pockets on his jacket and i can only assume that’s where his hands have been as we’ve made our way down the snowy street. my fingers almost instantly heat up and i can’t help but feel a smile creeping across my face. “i’ve never noticed that dimple before.”  
“that what?”  
“the little dent in your cheek when you smile.”  
“it’s probably because i don’t smile that often. i don’t see reason for it.”  
“there’s lots of reasons to smile. hot cocoa and warm hands and snow and friends and buffy the vampire slayer and puppies.”  
“those are things that exist. i can see them a lot.”  
“i know, but sometimes you’ve gotta appreciate small things.”  
“i guess so.” we continue our walk, eventually reaching the tube. phil scans us in and we approach the platform.   
“our train should be here any minute now, so we can just stand here. do you mind if i check my phone?” i shrug and he pulls that tiny rectangular thing that now has a name out of his pocket. there’s even smaller rectangles on the screen and he shuts it back off without actually checking it. “it’s louise talking about her stupid uncle or something. i can reply later. tell her i slept in or something.” a loud WAAAAAHHHHH noise resonates throughout the station and i assume that it’s for us. phil leads me to the door and we take a seat before anybody else sits down. he insists that we do this because “standing on the train gives him motion sickness but only sometimes but when it does it’s bad”. so we’re sitting. there’s a tiny human in our general area of seating and it starts babbling and making weird noises. the woman holding this tiny being picks it up and starts rocking it and it calms down.   
“phil, what is that thing?”  
“don’t be silly. that’s a baby.” his face adopts a skeptical expression. “you have seen a baby before, right?”  
“uh. no.”  
“how the hell… you WERE a baby once.”  
“do i look like i remember that?”  
“no.”  
“okay.” 

we continue sitting, except quicker this time.

“you like the sweater i gave you for today, yeah?”  
“indeed. it’s very cozy.”  
“i think i remember where i got it. maybe we can check in a few department stores and  
see if they’re still in stock. you’d probably look good in greys and light pinks.” he starts a sweater ramble and i watch him speak, taking note of the fact that it isn’t just his smiles that are a little lopsided, but his entire mouth kinda sits that way. “anyway, what jean size do you wear?”  
“the pair you gave me fits well.”  
“okie dokie, i’ll just get you some when i get myself some.”  
“that sounds lovely, phil.” he smiles and types something in on his phone.

a random human being walks into his life and he magically adjusts his world entirely around it. nobody has that much love in their heart normally.


	7. the prettiest star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh my sweet lord baby jesus, this chapter took so long and it doesn't even have that much content.
> 
> anyway, i've been off break from school for a couple of weeks and i think i've finally got a plan in sight for the rest of this story, which is nice to be aware and sure of. 
> 
> enjoy, friends!

hopping off the train is a breeze once the mother and her whiny child and everyone else exits. phil seems to know where he’s going, considering that he grabs my hand to pull me forward. the london wind is practically hyperborean as i’m dragged by hand and arm along the sidewalk. he points toward a store with some bundled up mannequins in the window.

  
“that’s where i got the jumper you’re currently wearing, dan. hopefully they’ve still got them in stock.”

“is that where we’re going first?”

“if you’d like, yeah.” i give him a small nod and we take to the crosswalk, jogging across the mostly empty street. there’s an older woman at the counter who immediately gives me a concerned glare before rubbing her eyes, putting on glasses, and strengthening her focus. i shift awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact.

“why, if i didn’t know better, i’d think those are stars circling your head!”

“they-uh,” phil can practically sense the anxiety radiating off of me and cuts me off, reassuring her that it’s just a cute headpiece-no stars to worry about. she looks closer and shrugs, going to a nearby rack to fix a display. phil weaves through the store until he reaches the back. he gestures for me to follow and we end up at a shelf with loads of sweaters like the one i’ve got on in an abundance of colours. i see a yellow one that looks sort of nice, but i don’t think i could pull it off. phil hands me two: one charcoal grey, one soft pink. 

“those are in the same size as the one you’re wearing right now. if you want other ones, that’s fine. i just think these shades would look nice on you.” i hold them up in place of the current jumper and examine my reflection in the mirror next to the shelf. “they’ll look lovely, dan.” i can feel the warmth spreading across my face again and i try to hide my relentless grin with one of the sweaters. “there’s a shop just a couple of blocks down where i always get my jeans. i need new ones anyway, so i can pick them and you can meander around. is there anything you’d like while we’re here?” a set of socks on the display next to the shelf catches my eye. there’s a pair with stars and a pair with planets on them. 

“can i get those socks?” he turns them over and glances at the numbers on the back.

“i don’t see why not.” we head to the front counter and the old lady from earlier scans the jumpers and socks, placing them in a bag. phil hands her a piece of plastic which she inserts into a tiny device with loads of buttons on it. he punches in four numbers (0-1-3-0) and she hands him the card back, along with a long piece of paper. the two exchange farewells and i wave her goodbye.

he gestures toward my head before speaking again. “she likes the stars. i can tell.” 

“how so?”

“she had this fascinated look on her face, daniel. it’s how i imagined i looked when i saw them.” if it wasn’t so blustery outside, my face would be burning. it’s just sweet to me, i suppose, how phil’s so fascinated by things i don’t recognize about myself. my dimple, the stars, how i’m apparently mysterious because of the fact that i don’t remember exactly where i’m from. 

 

he cares and that’s odd to me, but it shouldn’t be.

  
  



	8. starry eyes and galaxy minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO it's been sO long since i updated this whoops  
> anyway  
> here's a small chappie chap in which the bois are settling in and dan discovers harry potter

it’s been a few weeks since i started work with phil and moved in at his place. he’s got a room set up for me down the hall from his bedroom. it’s kind of like his, but with no special colours this time. i opted for blacks and greys and whites. 

 

he makes breakfast in the mornings, we usually go out for lunch, and dinner is free at the café. food isn’t a huge necessity for me, but he doesn’t know that. i’d rather continue to enjoy the boy’s complimentary morningtime meals. he’s good at making pancakes and waffles, which, according to him, is “odd, because most people are better at scrambling eggs or making grilled cheese.” i don’t know what the hell a scrambled egg is, but i can assume it doesn’t taste nearly as nice as philip’s waffles.

 

“say, dan?” he makes a singular, deferential knock upon my door. it’s still early, but i’m already awake.

“yes?”

“we don’t work tonight. do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“a what?”  
“a movie.”

“ _ what’s that? _ ”

“a movie? you’ve got to be kidding. did they not have televisions where you lived before?”

“television? i mean, i can see pretty well, but-”

“christ on a bike, dan. here, one moment.” phil opens the door to my room, already holding his laptop in his two arms. “do you mind if i sit next to you?”

“go ahead.” 

“you’ve seen videos before, right?”

“mhm.”

“and you’ve read books, right?”

“yeah.”

“movies are essentially long videos made because of books.”

“oh. that’s neat.”

“yeah. they’re just the best way to go about entertainment if music is getting boring or if you don’t want to read anything. that’s my opinion, though. would you like to watch one tonight?”

“sure.”

“great. i’ll figure one out. one that you’ll like, at least.” he returns to his room, gently closing his door. i find one of his books on a shelf across from my bed and decide to investigate it.  _ harry potter and the philosopher’s stone. _ it sounds weird, but i end up reading it anyway. phil barges back in to remind me that “christmas is only a few weeks away!” and that he “still might need to finish shopping.” after his initial announcements, he notices that i’m reading his book. 

 

“do you like harry potter?”

“so far, yeah.”

“i’ve got the movies on dvd if you’d fancy watching those.”  
“i mean, why not?” he smiles and heads downstairs. i follow, of course, simply curious as to what a dvd is.

 

three hours later, he’s grabbing more snacks and pressing play on the next movie.

  
  



	9. you've got me seeing stars brighter than ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phil decides to ask dan about his origin. 
> 
> dan tells him. 
> 
> the two tell each other something important immediately after.

we’ve returned from work. phil tells me today’s christmas eve, and that “no stores are going to be open.” with that knowledge, the two of us head back to the flat with our hot cocoas in hand. he’s gripping a few shopping bags of present wrapping supplies with his other hand. 

 

“dan?”  
“yeah?”  
“would you mind unlocking the flat?” his keys hang from his coat pocket. i grab the lanyard and unlock the door with his key. he strides in before me, dropping his bags on the sofa and finishing his cocoa. i lean into the couch, satisfied with the overall comfort of the setting. 

 

a month ago, i was about to fall asleep on a bus stop bench. now, i’m on a cozy couch leaning against someone who actually cares enough to spend time with me (and doesn’t look at me weirdly for the stars around my head). 

 

“i need to wrap gifts.”  
“you can do it later. i’m comfortable right here.”  
“yeah, i am too.” phil leans his head against mine. “hey dan?”  
“what?”

“be honest with me. where are you from?”

“i told you, a mountain town-”  
“nobody born in mountain towns has actual space particles floating around their heads.”

“i didn’t even know i had those.”

“that doesn’t change the fact. plus, you’re clueless about a lot of things. your unawareness is alarming sometimes.”

“so?”

“you’re not a mountaineer. where are you actually from? how’d you even get here?”

“i don’t know how i got here, and i’m not entirely sure whether you’d believe me or not if i told you where i’m from. can we just drop it and watch star wars or something?”

“no.”

“fine. y’ever heard of andromeda?”

“the constellation?”

“no. the galaxy.”

“okay, now i think you’re being ridiculous.” he looks me in the eyes with a deadpan glare, and it makes me want to curl up and cry. 

“i mean, i was out there with other beings - people, you know? none of them spoke. we didn’t need names because we had numbers. 0611 was mine. we read books they sent up to us. we’d fall asleep and dream of maybe, just one day, meeting the people and seeing the places we’d been reading about. we learned your languages. wrote with them, but never spoke with them. the billions of planets and stars and suns we stared out on every single morning were larger and prettier and more lovely than anything else i’d ever seen. then i fell down here and met you.”

“god, you’re serious, aren’t you?” phil rests his head in his hands. “you probably don’t even know how to get back there.”

“i can’t say i want to. i like it better here. you’re warm and the sun rises here. the sun used to sort of just...sit. i like that things move, and people speak, and you listen. i like you, phil.”

“i like you too, dan. can i go wrap presents now? christmas is tomorrow and i’d like for you to enjoy it as much as you can.”

“go ahead, then. i’ll finish the deathly hallows and then i’ll probably sleep.”

“sounds lovely. goodnight, dan. thank you for telling me all that. i’m sorry.”

“sorry?”

“i feel for you.”

“oh. that means a lot.”

“yeah. hmm. well, off i go.”

“hey, phil?”  
“mhm?”  
“i...uh. i love you.” phil turns to face dan. 

“i was hoping i wouldn’t have to be the one to say it first.” 


End file.
